We all feel lonely from time to time, but sometimes loneliness can be debilitating. Moving on with new routines is sometimes hard to do, but passively remaining “stuck” can make things worse. It is important to recognize when you are feeling lonely but also to work on actively changing things for the better. Once you know what’s bothering you, positive steps should be taken as soon as possible. If you are retired already, you will have more time on your hands to think about things and also more flexibility in your time schedule to implement a plan.
Start With the Easy Steps
To overcome loneliness, you will want to start with easy steps. Having the radio or the television on for some time each day in the background is ideal, whether you are cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, reading or working. Driving with the radio or news on will help to break the silence too. Reading the daily newspaper in the morning and/or watching the evening news on TV can also help you stay connected with the world. Go out from your home each day, whether you go for a walk, to the gym or library, to get the mail or to do an errand. Read a book, treat yourself to a movie, or enjoy a bath at least once a week as well.
Recognize Triggers
If you are lonely because you are missing someone who is not in your life anymore, try to figure out if there are certain triggers that bring on these feelings of loneliness and isolation. You may be influenced by an anniversary date, birthday, Christmas or other holiday, when the weather is poor, when you drive by somewhere in town, when you are feeling ill or when you are about to fall sleep.
Allow Your Feelings to Occur for a Limited Time Period
Allow yourself to feel the sadness and cry if you want to. Limit the frequency and duration of time you spend in this state, such as no more than 10 minutes twice daily. Gradually reduce the frequency and amount of time you spend thinking about the matters that you can’t change. Be sure to end your thoughts by remembering the happy moments you had with this person, knowing those memories will always be with you.
Practice Compassion
Remind yourself that others feel lonely too and be kind to yourself, looking at your situation with an outside perspective. Feel the same compassion for yourself as you would for others who are suffering from the same pain. Doing this can open you up to experiencing a sense of connectedness and can help you to reach out to others.
Make Connections
If you are missing someone, you can call, text, e-mail, write to a friend or family member. You might make it a goal to call or see a friend at least once each week. Talking to a friend or family member can be fun, interesting and help to improve your mood. If you don’t have someone you are close to, talking with a pastor, teacher or counselor may be a place to start. Going out to a local coffee shop regularly can lead to new friendships as well. Go online to meetup.com and find a meet-up group locally in your city that caters to your interests, job, city or hobby. Planning a visit to see someone or something is something you can looking forward to as well.
Adopt a Pet
There are many cats and dogs at your local humane society that would benefit from having an owner and home to belong to. The companionship and playfulness of a pet can be a real joy. There are also opportunities for dog visit programs for you to get involved in at children’s hospitals nationwide.
Volunteer or get involved in activities or clubs
Volunteering or attending an activity or club can be a good way to accomplish several things at once. Whatever you do can take your mind off of feeling lonely, can change your mood to being more positive, give you an opportunity to meet people with similar interests, and it can allow to practice certain skills, including your social skills. It can remind you of how good you might have felt in the past doing similar things. Further, getting involved in something regular can provide some structure in your life so that you have something to plan for and look forward to.
Maintain a Healthy Diet and Regular Exercise
According to scientific research, running or walking, even 30 minutes, can lift your mood and make you happier. Exercise can provide immediate benefits as can a healthy diet. Taking yoga can bring you spiritual wellness as well.
Make a Few Minutes of Gratitude Part of Your Daily Routine
It’s important to feel grateful for the benefits we have in life. Our health, for example, is something we can never take for granted. Some people write down in a journal what they are thankful each day. Some people make a point of thinking before going to sleep about what makes them feel grateful for each and every day.
